Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
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