That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
