Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
