fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
