This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Randomize
