Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
