I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
