allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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