i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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