We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize