But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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