CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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