walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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