So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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