is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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