the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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