dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
