You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
soo... how was my night?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
