i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
so let's talk penis.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
