Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
