Porn is love you can see.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
