But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Randomize
