are you so shy because you have an std?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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