In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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