Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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