so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize