I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
