Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
