remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
