stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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