so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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