you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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