First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
