it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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