if you like me you must not know who I am
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
ttyl tear gas
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
