I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
