chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
