I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
