I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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