somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
No more Irish car bombs ever.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize