so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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