Only a mothe r could love this liver
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
