Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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