After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
