You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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