I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
we're making bets on your personal life
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize