it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
