He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
so much tequila, so little girl.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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