ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
