I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
