And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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