You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
