on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
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