I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
be right there i have to get my cape
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
