Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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