Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
