i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
