super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
