Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize