forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
