Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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