i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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