Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
