you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
